eyelets: changes

Sometimes you need a moment to sit back and take stock.
Take a really good look of who you are.
I have been so busy running after the Joneses, looking at the neighbors grass, wondering if I should, could, or would....watching my FB friend number go up and down...all the while becoming more and more anxious as the days have passed. 

I'm being truthful here. Here I go...

If you have seen me lately, you have noticed that Dawniele did not look happy. The truth is, I have not been.  I have been wracked with worry and anxiety.  The Bible had it perfectly right (funny how it usually does), "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make it known to God." (Phillipians 4:6)  It says be anxious for nothing.  NO THING.  Could God really mean my photography business too?  If Im not anxious [about it] who will be?  Yes, faulty, illogical, irrational thinking.  Definitely not trusting.  Definitely not thankful.  Definitely not faithful. But I don't want to stop there.  It goes on...whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report...meditate on these.  I have not been meditating on these...

After all, why did I want to photograph people anyway? Because I love it. I love their faces, I love their smiles; their eyes.  It brings me joy to be in the moment, photographing, and enjoying people who trust that I can capture their vision in pixels.  I started photography because it has been something I have wanted to do for at least 20 years, and especially since my first daughter was born. Since I got my first SLR (not digital).  But, my confidantes can attest to this: I have wanted to quit.  Shut down the FB page, shut down the blog, turn off the camera.  Even as early as last week, I was quitting.  I LOVE taking pictures but wasn't happy with who I was becoming as a result of it.

Then friday.

Looking at my calendar, I saw that I had nothing booked and started to worry.  But then a voice inside of me (it was my voice...I wasn't talking to myself, but you know how that goes)...a voice inside of me said, "Give one away."  So I did.  It felt awesome! Two days later? Gave two more away, and it felt really good.

Am I anxiety and worry free? Even as I set here writing this...fears creep in.  But like the "Good Book" has shown, time and time again, God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.

So here's what I have decided to do.  Not only am I having a attitude adjustment, Im doing a business make over as well.  Stay tuned.  Im excited.  I hope you will are too. You may not see me on FB a lot.  You may turn on your computer to find that the FB page has gone and a new one is in its place.  I read a blog post by Damaris Mia Photography back in March. She seemed to have a similiar epiphany a few months ago as I am having today. But is it really important to have 600 people who could care a little bit or 60 who care a lot, who know me?  Know my heart? And know how much I love doing what I do. After all, what does it serve?  What is my purpose here on earth? Serve God or serve man?

Be anxious for NO THING...love that!

P.s. I was going to put a picture of myself here doing something cooky, but I don't have any of myself! Crazy...that must be changed immediately ;)

peace.